jozidad

Thoughts on becoming a dad for the second time

Dad and the Wendy House

WendyhouseAlmost 5 years later (after a few awkward relationships and a lot of celibacy), I met the wonderful Wendy and fell madly in love. We moved in together after about 6 months (out of the tiny townhouse – which was great for a couple of bachelors like me and Tom), and into a lovely home with a garden and a pool. Two dogs and an engagement in Paris later and it was bliss forever…

Okay – so the truth is that blended families are tough. Wendy was only 24 when we moved in together, and Tom was 9 (I was 32 – yes, a cradle snatcher ūüėÄ ). Just at that age when young boys are pushing boundaries. Not of course when dad was around (then he was an *angel*), but especially when it was just him and Wendy, he pushed and pushed….. so it’s really difficult as a new mom diving into an “instant family”.

But it’s also really difficult as the existing parent, cos sometimes you feel like you’re¬†walking a tightrope…making sure you’re giving enough attention to son and wife, and trying not to fall off onto either side.

How did we get through it? Well honestly, with some shouting and then some making up, and of course some counselling which really helped us each to see¬†the other’s¬†perspective¬†(thanks Neil!)

But… (and all tribute to Wendy¬† x o x o) we learnt to cope (or more accurately, we continue getting better at coping with blendedness every day!), and 18 months later we were married. One of the highlights of the wedding for me for me, aside from the amazingness of marrying beautiful Wendy, is that Tom wrote a (surprise) speech which he gave (secretly arranged with my best man), where he told us how excited he was, and how much he loved his “new” mom… there wasn’t a dry eye in the house..! There were other highlights later that night too,¬† but this is a family blog…

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This entry was posted on October 4, 2012 by in Blended Family, Boy, Father Son, New Mom, Parenting, Step Mom and tagged , , , , , .

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