Thoughts on becoming a dad for the second time
Wendy and I initially said we would wait a couple of years before having kids (which would have been the beginning of last year). But then Tom went off to boarding school for high school (to one of the great old schools in Grahamstown) – and we were like newly weds alone in the house for the first time, and all thoughts of babies vanished in a flurry of dinners out, lazy saturday mornings in bed till 12, impromptu weekends away and overseas travel.
Of course we always miss Tom when he’s away at school, but oh did we enjoy the freedom of being able to do what we liked, when we liked, at the drop of a hat and there was no broodiness in sight…..
…until a couple of Wendy’s friends had babies last year that is. Since then, some miraculous transformation has come over my wife, and she pours over baby pics on facebook (of course asking me for comment on each one. “How cute is that?” “ahh, look at this one love”, “Look at the cute little baby arms / head / neck / nose etc”.. you get the picture!).
Her broodiness was good news to me, I was ready for a new addition to our family, and had given Wendy an ultimatum – if she wanted a baba, it had better be before I turn 40 (I’m 37 as I write today). For me 40 was the limit (that would make me 61 on baby’s 21st birthday.. mature certainly, but still sprightly enough.) No-one wants a fossil at their 21st birthday party! (No offence to older parents of course).
So the Yasmin prescription ran out earlier this year and we decided not to get a new one…
There were a few months of “are we sure we’re ready for this” (especially after spending time with Wendy’s friends and their new offspring, and hearing all about baby poo and bleeding nipples, colic and sleepless nights (to name a few)… but the cuteness of the little ones won through (“the force maternal, strong it was in Wendy”), and in no time at all I was downloading ovulation Apps to my iPhone (just for education you understand), and Wendy was stocking up on home preggers tests, so we knew that were both keen as mustard (wierd expression!?).
About 2 months ago, on the day before her period was due, Wendy called me at work around lunchtime to say that “the stick” was showing a faint second line. Well, there went any further concentration for me that afternoon… She rushed to the lab for a blood test and the results came back late in the afternoon, and…..disappointment – it was negative. An afternoon of amazingness crashed down to reality – and her period came exactly as scheduled the following day. The disappointment was minor – but the big eye-opener had been just how freaking excited we both actually were to start a family together!
But there was no pressure. That July was only Wendy’s second month since coming off the pill, and various experts (e.g. my hairdresser – expert in basically everything) had told me that for healthy women aged 30 (as Wendy is), the average time from pill to conception was 6 months to a year.
August was “pregnancy stress” free (we had a fantastic holiday in Italy and didn’t really even think about ovulation), and 28 days later there was no need to try and find out the Italian words for “pregnancy test”.
September we decided to give it a proper go, making full use of all the potential “green days” according to the various iPhone Apps (obviously no complaints from me here! My appproach was to look at all of the different Apps and take the earliest possible starting date and the latest end date, so as not to miss a potential day 😀 )
I was away on a work trip on the 20th of September – over “day 28”, and I was waiting for the news from Wendy one way or the other. Her SMS read “Call as soon as you can” and the news was FANTASTIC! A solid second line on the stick! That was the Thursday, and we could only get a doctor’s appointment for the following Tuesday! Several
peed-on sticks positive tests later – all showing the same result, and no sign of the period, and then Tuesday’s blood test was positive!!! YEEEESSSS!!!