Thoughts on becoming a dad for the second time
I’ve been debating with myself all weekend whether I should write this blog or not, because it’s so difficult to verbalise how I feel about this…. Can a dad really be envious of the woman carrying his baby?
First, let’s set the scene… I’m a very, very excited dad to be, and I’m crazily in love with my wife, Wendy who is now 8 weeks pregnant with our little bean that we’ve temporarily named Zygote (or Zee for short.) I’m counting the days ‘till our first scan (9 days to go!) and our first glimpse of our new baby.
But in a way, I’m envious of Wendy, and the beautiful experience of growing our baby inside her. Not an ugly, ‘green with envy’ emotion – but more a desire that I could play a bigger part in the miracle.
Now of course, I know that pregnancy has its downsides – the morning sickness, the body changes, the growing bulge (which, incidentally I think is so sexy!), the limited diet (especially the wine restrictions!) – and of course the having to deliver a baby at the end of it…
But I guess what I’m envious of, is that special mother-unborn child connection that us men will never, ever experience. The feeling of a baby moving about inside you, the first kick and the bond formed during breastfeeding.
It’s interesting to see how the males that we tell about our exciting baby news, often say something like “well done” to me, but say “congratulations” to Wendy – as if I played the more important part in Zee’s conception… But truth is, that physiologically and practically – until baby is born (and I can begin forming a beautiful bond with Zee), my part in this miracle is basically over, and I’m just not a necessity.
Of course I will be the ever-supportive hubby, fetching crackers in the morning, and indulging whatever other cravings and moods may hit Wendy in the future. I will make sure she is comfortable and will attend to all the practical arrangements that need attending to.
But I can’t help feeling a bit useless in the whole thing – compared to the huge part that Wendy is playing in this miracle.
This article was first published on http://www.mommymatters.co.za