Thoughts on becoming a dad for the second time
Even with Wendy now almost 11 weeks pregnant, we’re probably still two months away from knowing if our precious unborn Zee is a boy or a girl. Even then, we won’t have certainty as the scans are not always 100% accurate (5% room for error according to Dr G’s “information for pregnant mothers” brochure).
So what would we prefer? A boy or a girl?
Wendy says that she has a clear preference for a girl. A girl to dress in pretty little dresses, to put bows in her hair and to take to ballet. A girl to do mom-daughter stuff with: to go matric-dance-dress shopping with and to hand down precious baking secrets to. A girl she can help plan a wedding with and help to prepare for her own baby one day. A girl for the special bond that girls have with their mothers, where each-other’s lives are shared in infinite detail. Wendy’s been living with Tom (nearly 15) and I for six years, and I think perhaps she’s had enough of being the only girl in the house, and had enough of all the testosterone and boyishness.
But my preference is not nearly so clear.
I grew up in a house of boys. I’m already a father to a son. And it’s awesome. Now that Tom’s a teen we enjoy a lot of the same movies (Crash boom bang!) music and sports. We’ve had (and we still have) lots of fun together. I know how to deal with males. I know how we think. So if Zee is a boy I kinda know what to expect. But I’m more than a little afraid of the unknowns that come with a daughter. The complexity of a daughter’s emotions, and of having another female in the house. In a few years Tom will be grown up and I’ll be the only male in the house!
Although I came from a family of boys, I’ve also heard about the special bond that girls have with their dads. How a daughter’s smile softens even the hardest of dads. How girls are more studious than boys and more responsible. I’ve seen my father in law with Wendy and her sisters and I’ve heard male friends talk about their daughters. It’s clear that although it’s a completely different relationship, the dad-daughter bond seems just as special as the father-son bond.
In truth, Wendy and I will be ecstatic with either a son or a daughter, and I think any idea of a preference will be long gone by the time we see our little Zee for the first time. But it’s interesting how Zee’s gender is almost always the first question asked, followed by endless theories of why it will definitely be a girl or definitely a boy.
This article was first posted on www.mommymatters.co.za